We’ve all been there. Kept on endless hold, going backwards and forwards speaking to different people at different times and after all that effort, no progress made whatsoever. That’s if we actually manage to get through in the first place. Post pandemic chaos at the call centres involves lengthy wait times, confusing chatbots and ….. frustrated customers. To save your sanity, here are my top tips as to how you can cut that chaos and cheat those chatbots.

How to find the right contact details (for the uncontactable)

If there are no contact details visible on the company’s website, you can

• source lesser-known geographical numbers for a variety of departments and locations via websites such as https://www.saynoto0870.com
• Ring Head Office and ask to be transferred to the relevant department.
• Use the number for calls made from overseas as these tend to result in quicker connection to a customer service representative.
• Find a customer service forum for the company in question on Facebook where others often share successful, lesser-known alternate numbers and contact details.
• Be resourceful and search online using key words and phrases i.e.name of company and the issue (s) you are experiencing to source contact numbers.

How to get through to a real person on the phone

Trying to get through to a real person or find a number when there seemingly isn’t one can feel like an uphill struggle! But where there’s a will there’s a way and here are some of them.

Always avoid ringing if you can. The most effective complaints are made in writing as if you need to escalate an issue; there is already a trail of evidence. However if you do need to make that call:

1. Don’t press any options at all.
2. Dial zero, multiple zeros or multiple hashtags.
3. Choose the option for ‘thinking of leaving us.’
4. Provide nonsensical voice recognition answers such as ‘courgette’ or tea cosy.’
5. Say no to every question.
6. Make a note of the order of options so you can quick fire through them should you have to ring again or try https://pleasepress1.com to see phone number options and press ahead.
7. Source lesser-known numbers via websites such as https://www.saynoto0870.com or find a customer service forum for the company in question on social media where others might share alternate numbers.
8. Make smart calls: ring at optimum times and call off peak if you can.
9. If you do get through ask if there is a free direct number for future calls.
10. Don’t waste your breath or their time and yours. Escalate any issue sooner rather than later!

How to cheat the chatbots

Chatbots are programmed to follow particular questions and patterns so you will be eventually be directed to an assistant but the length of time to do this depends on your responses. It’s worth remembering that chatbots connect to a pre programmed script so cannot process random answers. This is the key to success in trying to cheat them. Here’s how you can do so!

1. Ignore options, type yes or no as a response to every question
2. Type nonsensical answers such as ‘courgette’ or ‘tea cosy.’
3. Use key words, which are easier for the bots to recognise such as ‘account’ ‘billing’ or ‘refund’ or type ‘speak to a real person.’
4. Keep information brief, no need to share your life story until you get through to a real person.
5. Say ‘I am thinking of leaving you.’

I hope that the above tips help. Do you have any you can add? Let me know in the comments.

This article in Take a Break magazine on how to contact the uncontactable is also a very useful read.