“Are you being served, no I don’t think that I am. I’ve been waiting twenty minutes. Please help me if you can.”

We’ve all felt like this at times. Frustrated with waiting times and poor service. But it doesn’t stop here. From self-service checkouts to queues, deliveries, travel, roadworks and potholes, many things exasperate us on a daily basis and we all need some kind of outlet to save our sanity if nothing else. What should be simple and pain free rarely is and issues which should be dealt with by companies quickly and easily rarely are. However worry not! I have just what you need in the form of my NEW anthology of poems inspired by the fascinating but incredibly frustrating world of customer service entitled ‘Are You Being Served?‘ and there’s even a fabulous foreword by Lorraine Kelly.



Why poems?


English was my favourite and best subject at school. I’ve always loved writing and started to write poems in particular just over 10 years ago. Over the years they have become my hobsession (hobby and obsession) and I’ve written poems on everything from weddings, funerals, birthdays, retirements to life and pets. It only occurred to me recently that this creativeness could also extend to a whole host of new material from the world of customer service in which I work. Hours of fun!


Which poem is my favourite?


I hope you like all the poems but my own personal favourite has to be ‘Chicken or beef?’ as the inspiration behind it lies in my days as an air hostess for the World’s Favourite airline. I must also credit Confessions of a Trolley Dolly for some of the best things ever said to cabin crew in this blog post. It might make you laugh but in all sincerity, the poem is exactly what life is like in the skies with some of the questions that passengers ask. Here’s a little extract!


Chicken or beef

Coffee or tea?

Is that just for one

Or are you eating for three?”


In contrast, privilegedpup’s favourite poem is ‘Pawservice’ which is a lovely simplistic look at customer service through a dog’s eyes.


When it comes to Customer Service

Dogs just do it better

They will always wag their tail

No matter what the weather.”


Lorraine and me


One question I’m asked quite frequently is how I know Lorraine Kelly and why she wrote a foreword for the book. In answer to the second half of the question, I have no idea. I just sent her a copy of the manuscript and asked if she would consider writing the foreword. Couldn’t believe it when she said yes! As for the first question, it was just a chance meeting as a flight. One minute I was sat on my own and the next minute I found myself next to Lorraine. Thanks to my good friend Kelly who was working on the flight as cabin crew, I was able to stay in touch with Lorraine and the rest is history. I’m pleased to report that she is just as lovely in real life as she is on TV, really genuine and a real pleasure to chat to.

“This is a delightful, insightful collection of poems from a very talented woman” Lorraine Kelly.



What’s next?


Definitely another book! I’m already hard at work on a follow up to ‘Are you being served?’ so Pam Ayres is no doubt already quaking in her boots. Please watch this space to be one of the very first to know when it’s due for release. Just need to give Editor and Publisher Scott Dixon some time to recover from working with me on the last one. Think his supplies of Whisky and Guinness now rival those of my wine!


Competition Update- The winners and more exciting news!


Thank you SO much for all the entries to win your own personalised signed copy of Are You Being Served? Your support has just been amazing! I still can’t believe how many entries were received, so much so that I decided to offer not just one but THREE copies! Well done to Jo, Caroline and Teresa.

Worry not if you missed out this time as that the paperback is available for just £2.99 and Kindle just 99p until Sunday 22nd December! Here’s the Amazon* link if you’d like to take advantage of this fab LOW price.




Please note that this page contains an *affiliate link.

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